Thank you for taking the time to visit my page. For those of you that don’t already know me, I’m Caitlin …
I have started this blog to follow my recovery from my Eating Disorder and Depression and to give those close to me an insight and understanding of my daily life – but that’s a whole new post of its own!! If you’re reading this during your own eating disorder/mental health illness, I hope it motivates you to search for the light at the end of the tunnel.
So a bit about life up until now….
I have the most beautiful, clever, loving, kind, thoughtful, sassy, cheeky, sometimes nightmare of a son, Harvey.
He is my reason for pretty much anything positive I have done in the past 6 years. He definitely keeps me on my toes, has given me some of the best memories of my life so far, out smarts me on a daily basis and knows exactly how to get his own way… I’m in the process of ‘putting my foot down’ so watch this space! He came as a bit of a surprise way back in 2011 (time flies ay!) but he was a blessing. I have a wonderful support network of family and friends (shoutout to my mum and best bud Nikki), they make raising this big ball of energy single handedly so much more do-able, have supported me when the going has got tough, laughed with me cried with me and occasionally put me in my place when I need it.
I have suffered with Anorexia and Bulimia and subsequently depression from my early teenage years, throughout high school, during pregnancy and yo-yo’ed between recovery and relapse ever since. This time round my recovery (from mid 2015 – 2018 – with the odd dip in between) was its best and the relapse (I’m currently in) the worst!! This time my aim is to beat it once and for all and I’m partially reliant on my stubbornness to help pull me through! I have made the decision to record my life throughout recovery (the good and bad) and everything that comes with it from food love and struggles to managing to keep a house going and a child alive (plants stand no chance) whilst sharing it with you guys and as a bit of a motivation for myself!
Up until recently I worked as a paediatric dietitian, then my health declined at the beginning of 2018. After experiencing a lot of dizziness and fainting episode as well as being absolutely whacked most of the time, I was unable to carry on working. We noticed my heart rate and blood pressure would dip below ‘normal’ levels and following loads appointments, blood tests, scans etc. and I have been diagnosed with “probable” (ie. they cant find anything else) vasovagal syncope – good news is it should resolve with age (not many perks to ageing so we’ll celebrate this one). Anyway back to the point – it was during this time, from January, that my eating declined, sleeping through meals, a rocky ‘relationship’, social isolation and generally feeling pants. I went from 3 meals and snacks down to maybe 1 or 2 meals to nothing more than the odd snacks – coupled with binging and purging!
I have decided to take some time out from work, even though I miss it massively (bet you never thought you’d hear me say that) to focus on myself and ‘getting my sparkle back’ as my Mum would say! Other than the lovely little ones and their families I work with, when I’m at home I LOVE (or at least did until becoming unwell again) cooking, baking and everything foodie (ironic, I know), going on adventures with Harvey – we always used to be out and about (legoland is a firm favourite), good wine (obviously), journaling, spending time with friends and family and anything related to clothes/shopping/nice things like that.
Any how I’ve waffled for long enough. I hope you enjoy (if that’s even the right word to use) reading my blog posts and you can gain a better insight into the circus act which is currently my life!!!